


Handmade Heaven

by vagrantBreath



Series: Aether binds us [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Developing Relationship, Friendship, M/M, Obsession, female Au Ra Warrior of Light - Freeform, the major character death relates to canon deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-02-10 04:03:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18652525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagrantBreath/pseuds/vagrantBreath
Summary: During his travels with the Warrior of Light, Alphinaud has met many an interesting person.None are as interesting as Estinien Wyrmblood.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The Warrior of Light's design is basically my Au Ra's design, from job decisions to "what are pants?"
> 
> I've only gotten up to the Heavensward quest, so the next chapter won't come for a while until I play more. Be prepared for it to take a while since I have a huge urge to grind poetics for augmented Shire gear for all my jobs. No I haven't officially been diagnosed with OCD though a therapist has asked if I have why do you ask? And please don't spoil me; I prefer going into just about everything in this game blind.

When Alphinaud met the Warrior of Light, he hadn't thought anything impressive about her. Certainly, an Au Ra of Xaelan descent stood out in Limsa Lominsa, but other than the tome at her side, he couldn't see how she had bested a primal. But the more he saw the lithe Au Ra, the more he understood how strong she truly was.

But when it came to times like now, waiting for the winds to die so they could call Hraesvelgr, the Warrior of Light looked little more than a teen, laughing as she held her grey clawed hand out to her ruby carbuncle and the little creature placing its paw in hers as if to "shake" her hand. Her long legs stretched beside her, the fire bouncing off the dark scales gracing her skin. At one point, Alphinaud had been embarrassed to see her shift from wearing traditional robes to coats and rarely more than tights and her small clothes on the bottom, but he started to understand as he paid attention to Miqo'te dress, and how their attempts to keep their tails comfortable looked very similar to the Warrior of Light's preferred method of dress. Considering the Warrior of Light never moved provocatively, Alphinaud eventually decided her decision was out of comfort and not sexuality. Though, he thought, watching her play with her carbuncle's paws, he wouldn't doubt she knew how attractive she looked to those interested in female Au Ra.

It did allow Alphinaud to study how she had changed since he first saw her. Muscle had been built on that frame from her adventures; she still was very thin and built as the mage she was, but he could see muscle rippling under her thighs as she moved. Her face had grown more solemn since their arrival in Ishgard, believing the sultana dead and not knowing if their friends had survived their flight. While she hadn't shown much more than determination after their flight to Ishgard, Alphinaud had seen the sorrow lurking behind her eyes, as if she had blamed herself for what happened. How strange, then, he thought, that she had comforted him for his blunder with the Crystal Braves. How strange she had put aside her own heartache to soothe his own.

It was quite heartening to watch her play with her ruby carbuncle and laugh again.

Movement caught his eye, and Alphinaud turned his gaze to Lady Iceheart- no. Ysayle. How strange they were traveling with the very heretic the Warrior of Light had bested, returning the god summoned in Ysayle's body to the aether. And yet, Ysayle stood tall with them, intent on her goal for peace. For all the cold she invoked, behind that shell, he could see warmth.

And yet, they would not get anywhere if she would not stop arguing with Estinien! Alphinaud watched the Warrior of Light's face cross with annoyance as the two of them started sniping at each other again, dismissing her carbuncle. "Can we not have one night of peace?" he asked before she could open her mouth and demand the same. "We are working towards much of the same goal."

The two of them let the petty argument die down, though Alphinaud could hear a soft "he started it," from Ysayle. With that, he looked over at the dragoon, taking in the armoured figure. Estinien stood watch over them, but he could see his helmet pointed towards the Warrior of Light. Finally, the dragoon spoke.

"You have no little skill with a lance, do you not, Warrior?"

A surprised look crossed the Warrior of Light's face. "I do," she said, her rich voice thrumming with surprise and curiosity. "I greatly prefer spells, but I certainly can fight in close quarters if I must."

"How did you know, Estinien?" Alphinaud asked, a sudden sharp heat piercing his chest, tightening his throat. He only hoped the strange uncomfortable heat didn't show in his voice.

"You have the legs of one who has started down the path of dragoon. Not only that, but you have callouses on your palms a lance would bring."

Estinien had been paying closer attention to the Warrior of Light than any of them realized. The Warrior of Light narrowed her yellow eyes slightly, the motion starting to obscure the purple ring around the iris. "I see," was all she said.

"Let us hope you never need to draw your lance," Estinien told her, turning his attention back beyond their little group.

Alphinaud wrestled with the sudden anger at his words. Why would Estinien noticing the Warrior of Light's legs, and not even in a sexual way, bring such heat to his chest? Why would Estinien wishing she never have to fight in close quarters make him so angry? Was it the implied insult she would not be able to hold her own with a lance? He opened his mouth, intent on demanding an answer to his words.

"We should get some rest," the Warrior of Light said, her eyes taking in all of them. "It's been a long day for all of us." Those last words were more pointed, as if jabbing their Moogle guide with the inanity they had been subject to. He wondered if the Moogles were aware how lucky they were that the Warrior of Light's temper didn't flare at being told to do menial chores before their king would assist them. Had the Warrior of Light not been as even-tempered as she was, Alphinaud had a feeling her ruby carbuncle would have shed its glamour and pleas for her to call off her Ifrit-egi would have been sounded.

And yet, Alphinaud's attention still turned to Estinien, watching for any who would try to attack them. Were they to ignore the dragoon's words?

"Do you have a question, boy?"

Alphinaud jolted at the sound of Estinien's rough voice, such a contrast to the Warrior of Light's or even Ysayle's voice, direct the question towards him. He tried to tell his heart to calm from the sudden shock, and yet the beat still rushed, bringing heat to his cheeks. Embarrassment, he thought, did not become him as he struggled to think of words to say that either wouldn't earn him sharp words from Estinien or drag Ysayle into their conversation with her own pointed observations.

Or it could be shame that kept his tongue still. The fact Estinien saw the Warrior of Light's skill with a lance at a glance when Alphinaud himself thought the new muscle on her body was from her adventures around the realm. The heat could be the shame of him missing something so obvious, as he did with the Crystal Braves. If he had misconstrued the muscle built from learning the lance as simply running around Eorzea, what else had he missed? He doubted it would be as catastrophic as not seeing the Crystal Braves ready the blade at his back, but he felt he couldn't take that risk.

But words did not come, and now he was certain shame stained his cheeks red. He noticed Ysayle's eyes on him, and perhaps more embarrassing, the Warrior of Light caught his own gaze with a concerned look. The urge to escape into the dark wilderness until his cheeks no longer held the bright red glowing on his skin seized him, but he sat still. It had been dangerous during the day to wander carelessly, and more so now there was less light to see an attack coming. Not to mention the Warrior of Light could follow him easily; her boots didn't make as much noise as he would like as she walked, and in the darkness, her colouring would allow her to blend in.

"No," he finally managed.

He couldn't put a name to the heat that stabbed him at the smirk on Estinien's lips, the only thing under his helmet he could make out in the firelight.

  


* * *

  


"I felt a sham," the Warrior of Light said in a hushed voice as she exited the Fortemps Manor. Alphinaud looked up at her in surprise, seeing her blood red hair and curved horns cover the sorrow palpable in her voice. "I saved so many people, Alphinaud. I've bested primals, the Garlean forces… and yet, something as simple as-" Her voice choked, and he watched her delicate hands curl into fists as snow speckled her hair. "I can't understand how Count Edmont just _forgives_ -"

There was blood on her hands, barely noticeable on her grey skin. He wondered if it was hers or still stained from how she gripped Haurchefant in her grief.

Words rose to Alphinaud's lips, all to try to soothe her wounded soul. It was more than Haurchefant, he knew. She had been the one to move the bodies of the Scions at the Waking Sands so they may be taken to the lichyard. She had only been able to watch Moenbryda sacrifice herself to defeat an Ascian. She had watched her allies sacrifice themselves at Ul'dah so she could flee. But all that escaped his lips was their mission. A reminder to check in with Ser Aymeric.

He felt so _stupid_ once his lips closed after the words. She had been there in his grief when he had realized the Crystal Braves had been plotting his downfall from the beginning, and yet, he couldn't offer her one true word of comfort as she lost yet another friend. Alphinaud felt a hot jolt of shame as she smiled, determination in the curve of her lips and the nod of her head before she turned and walked away.

He should follow her. He knew this. Ser Aymeric was also a friend, and he had been greatly injured during his time in the Vault. And they would need to set a new path to follow the Archbishop to Azys Lla. He would need to be there. To plan.

Instead, he turned away. Ishgard was far less populated than any other major city he had visited, and yet, there were still too many people. He would follow to the Congregation of Our Knights Most Heavenly in time. But for now, he needed-

He needed not to see the Warrior of Light, with her gentle face, be stronger than him in every way.

There were quiet alleyways in Ishgard. He let his feet take himself there, his breath tight in his chest and throat as he walked. When he felt sufficiently isolated, he allowed himself to rest against a nearby wall. He wished to close his eyes, to lose himself in the moment of stillness, of quiet, of cold. But he knew better. Even if Hilda would keep her revolutionaries from harming him, not all of the unsavoury elements of Ishgard reported to her. If he dared close his eyes, he would be inviting at best a mugging.

Alphinaud heard Estinien before he ever saw him. The dragoon could move silently despite his armour if he wished, which meant he didn't wish to be silent. Alphinaud turned his head as Estinien drew near, wondering if they had dispatched him to collect their wayward Elezen. "I will be along shortly," he informed Estinien.

Instead of speaking, Estinien only crossed his arms, his bloodstained helmet pointed still at him. For a bizarre moment, Alphinaud wondered if the dragon blood staining his armour would ever wash away, or if Nidhogg's blood would forever proclaim his kill to the world. When Estinien didn't speak, didn't move, Alphinaud looked away. "I'm only feeling a little-"

"You are not the only one impacted by Lord Haurchefant's death," Estinien told him, his voice cutting straight through Alphinaud's lies. And yet, Alphinaud felt hard pressed to find any annoyance in his tone. "Our own Warrior of Light holds a deeper sorrow than I believe even you see."

"She has lost many friends," Alphinaud told him, the fact Estinien had paid enough attention to her to see perhaps more than Alphinaud had striking through him in hot anger. "She-"

"You also hold a deeper sorrow than you see in yourself."

Words died in Alphinaud's throat. Had Estinien really paid the same amount of attention to him that he did to the Warrior of Light? Why would Estinien put so much care into how Alphinaud felt? His heart beat hard against his chest as the thoughts whirled.

"I should not be the one to comfort you, boy."

"Then why do you try?" Alphinaud finally asked, his voice not quite steady.

Now, Estinien looked away.

"Estinien…?"

"Come along," he said abruptly. "You've been given enough time to mope."

Alphinaud sighed, nodding. He had perhaps been given more than enough time. They had to find Azys Lla. There was no time to waste.

  


* * *

  


She should be resting. Annoyance rushed through Alphinaud as he saw the Warrior of Light looking through her belongings. Her brush with the Ascians had left her alive thanks to Hydaelyn's touch, but he could see weakness trembling through her limbs when they had faced the imperial soldiers. They wouldn't be able to do anything until Cid finished his repairs, and rest would be the best for her. He started over to her, intent on giving her a piece of his mind, only to stop when he saw something in her lap and a pensive look on her face. "What have you here?" he asked, stopping in front of her.

"It's a star globe," she said quietly, her dark fingers tracing the metal. "I… like to experiment in other forms of battle. Summoning and spell craft is still my preferred fighting method, however… if pressed, I do know healing spells and how to summon a faerie to assist me in healing." She gently pressed her palm against the star globe. "My desire to learn more healing in case it's needed brought me to learning the path of the Astrologian."

Alphinaud looked to her other hand, holding several cards. Just from glancing at them, he could tell they held strong magics. She fanned them out, gazing at them pensively. "I was taught how to unlock the power of these cards," she murmured, almost to herself. "By drawing one at random, I can use the power to bolster one's strength, to help them cast spells or move faster than they thought possible, restore magical or physical strength, or…" She closed her eyes, drawing a card bearing a green tree. Alphinaud could feel magic radiating from the card, begging to be properly unlocked, as she opened her eyes and gazed at it. "Or I could have drawn the Bole and saved Haurchefant's life," she whispered.

"You said yourself you draw at random," Alphinaud reminded her, settling himself next to her. "And Haurchefant wouldn't wish you to dwell on what could have been."

She smiled sadly at him. "I know you're right." With shaking hands, she slid the cards back in their holder and packed the star globe away with the rest of her belongings. "Haurchefant, Moenbryda… they wouldn't wish for their deaths to be something that holds me back." She closed her eyes, letting her breath out slowly. "My apologies, Alphinaud."

Instead of answering, he rested his head against her shoulder. He could tell she wanted to do the same, but her curving horns kept her from doing so lest she injure him. But the desire for physical comfort rolled off her, and he wouldn't deny he felt the same. The heat from her body was almost scorching, which explained to him how she was able to move in a Coerthas blizzard wearing what little she preferred to wear. But even with her putting out so much body heat to the point it was uncomfortable, he found himself slowly drifting to sleep.

"Thank the Twelve for friends like you," he dimly heard the Warrior of Light whisper.

  


* * *

  


As the _Excelsior_ landed at Azys Lla, Alphinaud couldn't help but glance at Estinien. To first glance, the dragoon appeared prepared to explore and fight. But under his helmet, Alphinaud fancied he could see a slight grey tint to the pale skin, blue to his lips, and perhaps a nearly unnoticeable tremble to his arms. He had fought against the Eye attempting to steal his will, and Alphinaud wondered just how much it had drained from him to do so.

"I am fine," Estinien told him as the others disembarked. Alphinaud jolted slightly as he realized Estinien had noticed him looking at the older dragoon. "You have no need to worry about me."

"Are you sure, Estinien?" Alphinaud asked, turning fully towards him. "How hard you had to fight against the power of the Eye-"

His words died before they could be formed as Estinien placed a hand on his cheek. The only thing he felt he could compare the heat searing the touch onto his skin to was the Warrior of Light's natural body heat. And yet, that was as warm as a Coerthas winter next to Estinien's covered fingers against his cheek. He thought he spoke Estinien's name, but he wasn't sure. All he could focus on was the light pressure of Estinien's touch.

He wasn't sure if he felt relieved or anger when Cid called to them, breaking the spell woven between the two Elezen.

He supposed relief was more appropriate.


	2. Chapter 2

Defeating Garlean troops without the Warrior of Light was certainly more of a tricky prospect, but manageable. As it was, she was needed elsewhere. The Archbishop would need to be stopped, at any cost. She needed to keep moving forward. Though, Alphinaud wondered as he put away his tome, looking over the defeated bodies, if her memory of the Scions doing the same so she may flee Ul'dah would enter her mind. Alphinaud found himself praying it would not.

He turned to the others, immediately noticing the absence of their Azure Dragoon. "Where is Estinien?" he asked, continuing to look around. Had he followed the Warrior of Light, concerned for her safety? A hot burst of emotion stabbed his chest at the thought. He didn't need to watch her every step. She had proven many a times she could very easily take care of herself. Estinien didn't need to follow her. He should have stayed with them, with Alphinaud. The emotion in his chest burned, most likely the implied insult that Estinien thought the Warrior of Light could not save herself.

As it was, the best they could do would be to wait for them to rejoin. Alphinaud had complete faith in the Warrior of Light, and he knew she would soon be dragging Estinien back with her, triumphant. She would-

Within a heartbeat, something strange happened. There were no words to explain how something swirled inside his head while simultaneously becoming a stone, dropping through the center of his forehead to his feet, while also somehow lodging itself in his throat, choking him. The feeling didn't exactly fade, but Alphinaud managed to look over to Y'shtola, seeing what must be the same look he had on her face. "What was that?" he breathed, holding a hand to his head.

He watched Y'shtola start to shake her head, then think better of it. "I do not know," she finally said. "But whatever it was, it came from..." She turned, looking towards the path the Warrior of Light took.

The question to wonder if perhaps she had to use Hydaelyn's gift of light yet again rose to his tongue, but stayed behind his teeth. That didn't feel right. It felt... darker. Terrible. Whatever had happened, Alphinaud had a feeling the Warrior of Light had nothing to do with it. The need to follow, to make sure everything was okay, seized him. But Estinien was there. Everything would be fine. Estinien would make sure everything would be fine.

But the worried look didn't leave Y'shtola's face. He didn't blame her; he didn't feel quite steady on his feet at the moment either. Something had happened, and he wasn't sure exactly what it was. Had the Warrior of Light been felled in battle? No, he couldn't think like that. She couldn't be beaten that easily. Worry seized Alphinaud at the thought that perhaps... perhaps something had happened to Estinien. His feet turned at that thought, his heart choking his throat. If something had happened to Estinien...

He scarce had taken a step before a massive dragon streaked through the air. A gasp attempted to escape his throat as he watched Nidhogg, somehow reborn, leaving. "We should return to the _Excelsior_ ," Alphinaud whispered. Nidhogg's return... that couldn't have been possible, and yet- and yet, Estinien hadn't stopped it. The Warrior of Light hadn't stopped it.

Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Seeing the Warrior of Light follow the airship, her face stern as she sat majestically upon the great wyrm Midgardsormr, did little to ease Alphinaud's worries. Much of that was how she didn't seem very relieved or joyous about facing the Archbishop, but he couldn't deny not seeing Estinien didn't help the worry threatening in his throat. Was it true? Had she failed? Had Estinien fallen in battle as he followed her?

Alphinaud clutched at his chest at the idea Estinien had fallen in battle. The dragoon had bested Nidhogg the first time. What happened, with Nidhogg's rebirth, it couldn't- he _couldn't_ have fallen. Estinien was too strong for that. But Alphinaud couldn't deny Estinien was nowhere to be seen. No matter how hard he looked, he could not find a single hint of the older man on Midgardsormr's back.

  


* * *

  


"Alphinaud?"

The young Elezen turned before he entered the Fortemps manor at the Warrior of Light's voice, the rich colour of her voice muted. She had her hair down, he noticed. Normally, the blood red hair would be caught up in some sort of tail, either graced with a ribbon or simply pulled away from her face. But now, that tired face was framed by loose tendrils of hair. "Yes?" he asked, taking a step closer to her.

"I... I must go to the Forgotten Knight," she told him, the hitch in her voice noticeable. "Please tell Count Edmont I will be... I will not be joining you tonight."

"Is aught the matter?" Alphinaud asked, nearly reaching out to her.

She held a hand to her chest as she looked away in thought. "Alphinaud," she finally said, not looking at him yet. "When you have lost what you were too weak to call love, you will understand."

He had wondered, watching her grief spike for Haurchefant's death much as it had for Moenbyrda's. Calling herself weak for not admitting her feelings... "You are the strongest person I know," he told her. "And I am certain Haurchefant and Moenbryda both knew of your feelings, and felt deeply for you as well."

Her lips curved in a sad smile. "Thank you, Alphinaud. I still... cannot face Count Edmont after what has happened. Not at the moment."

Alphinaud did reach out to her now, taking her slender hand. "Count Edmont does not blame you."

"Aye, but I blame myself for failing Haurchefant." She shook her head. "When I am needed, I will return to the Fortemps manor." Here, she hesitated. "Alphinaud... I'm sorry."

"You have no need to apologize for-" he started before she shook her head.

"No... I'm sorry. I could not save Estinien."

The words wrapped around his throat. "There was aught you could do," he finally managed. "Nidhogg..." No. He couldn't finish his thought. For all his fancy words, he had none for how Estinien succumbed to Nidhogg's rage. He had none to explain how the fact held him tightly, hatefully tightening his throat as if tears were to come.

A warm clawed hand touched his head, and he looked up to see her smiling at him. "You should rest," she told him. "And perhaps bathe. After what's happened, I certainly need the stillness a bath can bring."

She wasn't wrong. If anything, he needed to feel clean after fighting in Azys Lla. "Make sure to say hello to Tataru for me," he told her.

"I shall."

"Your hair looks nice," he told her as she turned to leave, remembering how Alisaie would berate him if she changed her hairstyle and would not mention it. A girl puts quite a bit of thought into her hair, and thus should be complimented on her efforts, he remembered her saying. And after what had happened... perhaps this would put a true smile on her face.

Her head turned slightly back towards him. "Thank you, Alphinaud."

There truly wasn't much else that could be said.

  


* * *

  


Someone was watching them. He could see the Warrior of Light turning her head as they walked, as if she sensed someone. Alphinaud followed her eyes, noticing a shadow disappearing behind a tall building. "Is it an Ascian?" he asked, his voice hushed as one hand reached for his tome.

"I don't believe so," she responded, her own tome in her hand as her ruby carbuncle tensed. "But whoever it is, they are not wishing to be seen." The Warrior of Light turned slightly, keeping an eye on the other enemies littering their path. "Let's keep moving, Alphinaud. When our follower finally decides to make themselves known, I would rather not agitate the others around us."

Alphinaud nodded.

Idyllshire was close by. He had a feeling whoever was stalking them would not follow them to the settlement. But at the same time, whenever he turned his head to try to make out the form, he found himself wishing to see more. Who was it? Who followed them so easily?

"Alphinaud." He looked over at the Warrior of Light, her fingers over the text in her book in preparation. "… _run._ "

Confused, he looked at her. "I can certainly fight-"

"That isn't it," she told him, interrupting his words. " _Run_ , I beg-"

A bolt of red pierced the ground before them, displacing dirt in a cloud around them. Alphinaud held a hand up to protect his eyes, only to feel a searing touch hold him by the throat. He could hear the Warrior of Light's voice as another arm wrapped around him, pulling him closer to a scorching body, overflowing with unnatural heat.

"Nidhogg. Release Alphinaud."

A laugh, familiar in tone even as it was distorted, sounded behind him. "I think not, Hydaelyn's Chosen." Alphinaud could feel hot breath, dragon's breath, he realized, on one ear. "Doest thou truly believe you could stop this war? Quell what my rage hath wrought?" The hand on his throat tightened as Alphinaud clawed at the armour gripping him. "Thou art a _fool_ , Hydaelyn's Chosen."

Her eyes narrowed at his words.

"If thou wished the Elezen released… then thou must take him from me."

"Why do you want Alphinaud? What purpose does that serve your revenge, Nidhogg?!"

The distorted laugh shivered through him. "Thou knowst the answer, Hydaelyn's Chosen."

A wince crossed her face, and Alphinaud watched her put a hand to her head as the Echo passed through her. Once the Echo released her from its vision, she gasped, looking up at them. "No!"

"The Azure Dragoon may be my vessel, but that does not exclude him from my revenge." Alphinaud choked as the hand tightened again, nearly cutting off his air. "I shall take-"

"You will do no such thing."

A bright light flooded Alphinaud's vision, and the hands holding him still withdrew. He could feet air displaced and the sound of Nidhogg's true form taking flight as he fell to his knees, his hands hitting the ground mere seconds later. Gentle hands gripped his shoulders and he looked up into Y'shtola's white eyes. "Y'sholta…?"

"Can you stand, Alphinaud?"

"Huh? Yes. I-" He pushed himself to his feet, stumbling slightly. "What- what happened?"

Y'shtola shook her head. "Come. We should continue to Idyllshire to meet our guest. We can talk along the way."


	3. Chapter 3

"What was it that you saw?" Y'shtola's voice cut through the silence between them. Alphinaud looked over at the Warrior of Light as they walked, wondering the same thing. What had she seen that would make Nidhogg so interested in the young Elezen?

At first, she didn't answer. Whatever vision the Echo gave her, it appeared it still haunted her. Finally, she shook her head, the loose blood red strands moving around her. "Nidhogg is aware of how harming Alphinaud will hurt Estinien," she told them. "The Echo showed me Nidhogg taunting Estinien, and vowing to harm those he cares for."

Her words stabbed deep inside Alphinaud. This was more personal than simply taking revenge for the death of Ratatoskr. He wished to _hurt_ Estinien. The great wyrm desired not just to kill the mortals who betrayed his kind, but to destroy the Azure Dragoon's soul. "Damn him," Alphinaud spat out through the pain.

Y'shtola rested her hand to her temple in thought was they walked. "If Nidhogg is so keen on harming Alphinaud to hurt Estinien, then perhaps we should keep a guard on you. Losing you would do no one any good."

"I refuse to sit aside," Alphinaud argued. "There must be a way to banish Nidhogg from Estinien's body. If there is any way I can assist-"

The Warrior of Light shook her head, not quite looking at him yet. "Please, Alphinaud. I doubt any of us could bear to lose another-" Her voice trailed off, the grief too evident in her words.

Moenbryda. Haurchefant. Ysyale. He could hear the names without her speaking them. And they still did not know Thancred, Yda, Papalymo, and Minfilia's fates. Alphinaud grit his teeth, stopping. "I cannot allow Nidhogg to harm Estinien in such a way," he told them, looking away. "If there is any way for me to assist, to- to bring Estinien back to us, then I must. I cannot sit aside."

The Warrior of Light and Y'shtola halted their steps as well. "We understand, Alphinaud," he heard the Warrior of Light tell him quietly. "But please… don't make me bury another friend."

Her words slapped him. "I understand," he told her, his voice equally quiet.

"Before we make any decisions, perhaps we should speak with our guest in Idyllshire," Y'shtola told them. "There may be indeed a way to bring Estinien back, but I would wish another mind to consider this first."

Alphinaud nodded, his anger sobered. Bringing Estinien back without any further bloodshed… if it could be done, he certainly would need to hear just that.

  


* * *

  


"Alphinaud, if I may speak with you?"

Krile's voice stopped his steps, and he turned towards her. "Yes, Krile?"

Whatever levity she had while talking about more embarrassing parts of their shared parts faded as she looked up at him. "I've spoken to Y'shtola regarding Nidhogg's appearance on your journey back to Idyllshire. Alphinaud, are you sure you wish to continue on with this? I cannot promise anything, and it may not end the way you wish for it to end."

"Yes." Alphinaud punctuated the word with a fierce nod. He would do whatever it took to bring Estinien back from Nidhogg's grasp. All he needed was how.

"I was hoping you wouldn't say that." Krile's face hardened. "There may be a possibility to return Estinien and banish Nidhogg for good."

"What?" Alphinaud nearly reached out to take the Lalafell's shoulders. "What is it that you have learned, Krile?"

"'Tis only a hypothesis at the moment," she warned him. "And I would prefer not to speak of it until I have more information. If I am wrong, then it threatens your soul as well."

Alphinaud's eyes narrowed as he considered her words. He understood her concern; if Nidhogg were to take his own body as his vessel, then the cycle would only continue. No, worse, in that Estinien may be forced to kill the one who saved him. But there was nothing else other than Krile's hypothesis. "Krile, I-"

No. He looked away.

"I understand your concern, Krile," he finally said after a moment, turning his gaze back to her. "But I must try."

Krile put a hand to her chin as she turned her head in thought, then looked up at him. "Then we should speak with the Warrior of Light. Her involvement will be crucial as well."

  


* * *

  


Hearing Estinien may yet be saved had bolstered the Warrior of Light. It certainly had given Alphinaud a new resolve. But shortly after hearing such a thing, they had returned to Matoya's cave to find Minfilia…

He certainly intended on returning to Ishgard to speak with Tataru. The Warrior of Light, on the other hand… She stood just outside the cave, her eyes downcast. After what she and Minfilia had been through, only to hear that perhaps Minfilia was lost forever- no. No, he was not going to think any of his friends were lost forever. If they could return Estinien from Nidhogg's grasp, then they could save Minfilia as well.

"We will find a way," he told her quietly.

Without a word, she nodded, letting out a long breath. Then, she lifted her head, those yellow eyes caught on his. "Be careful, Alphinaud. Nidhogg already tried once to harm you with the intent on harming Estinien."

"I shall," he reassured her."

A smile crossed her lips and she nodded. When she set out, leaving Alphinaud alone, he let a long breath out and looked up. His eyes closed for a moment, and in that moment memory of a scorching touch and searing breath came to the fore, filling him with heat. It had been Nidhogg that held him that time, intent on injuring him, but the merciless grasp on his throat held the same heated memory as the simple press of fingers on his cheek.

"We will bring you back, Estinien," he whispered, opening his eyes. "I will bring you back."

"Boy."

At Matoya's voice, Alphinaud turned, surprised. He didn't expect to see her leave her cave for any reason, and yet now she stood before him. "Yes?" he asked, curiosity colouring his voice.

"Don't let what your heart wants blind you to what must be done."

The cold words pierced the heat roiling through his veins. "I know."

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Do you now?"

"I cannot sit by and let my friends die when I could have changed the course of their fate," he argued. "I must at least try."

Matoya only watched him for a moment, then nodded before turning to enter her cave once again. Despite the old witch not following that thread of thought, Alphinaud felt as if he had lost a debate to her in some way.


	4. Chapter 4

Someone was watching him. Alphinaud turned slightly, as if he would see who the offender was. Alas, he had a feeling who kept such a strong eye on him, and it made him wish he hadn't spent so much time speaking with Urianger. It was important to tell him about Minfilia's fate, something he felt he couldn't adequately describe over linkpearl, and the discussion about what it meant for Minfilia, Hydaelyn, and the Warrior of Light had stretched on further than he would have liked. While the sun hadn't completely fallen behind the horizon, there was so little light left in the day that he couldn't make out if anyone stood in the shadows.

He would either need to travel to Horizon to utilize the aetheryte there, or board a ship bound for Limsa Lominsa. Though, considering how close to night it was, a ship most likely was out of the question. He certainly could stay in Waking Sands for the night, as he felt his stalker wouldn't follow him there. But at the same time, he did need to return to Ishgard promptly. While he had informed Tataru of what happened to Minfilia, there was still much to be done around Ishgard. He would need to-

A scorching hand seized his arm, and Alphinaud soon found himself in the air, another arm wrapped around his waist. His captor landed easily on a nearby roof, and Alphinaud stiffened as a familiar chuckle, distorted yet, reached his ears. "We meet alone at last, Elezen," came the whispered words of Nidhogg. The hand on his arm tightened, keeping him from freeing himself and pulling his grimoire free. Heated dragon's breath washed over his ears and throat, strangely leaving goosebumps in its wake. "Would I time to taste thy flesh," Nidhogg whispered, Estinien's distorted voice almost crooning the words to him. "Time yet to hear my vessel scream with thy screams."

"Then what do you have planned, Nidhogg?" Alphinaud asked, attempting to keep the fear out of his voice. "What do you want of me?"

Nidhogg's other hand, the one not grasping his arm, lifted from his waist and wrapped around his throat with enough pressure to cut off more words. "What I want, Elezen, is thy pain." Dry heated lips met the tip of his ear, a chilled thrill running through him before the sharp pain of teeth sinking in made him gasp. "Yes, like that."

"Estinien…" The word could only be squeezed out around the grasp on his throat, almost a plea for the Azure Dragoon to hear.

"Aye, thy words reach him as well," Nidhogg chuckled against his ear. "Thy words, thy desperation… it reaches him as well."

"St-"

"Thy wishes reach him as well," Nidhogg whispered, the words directed straight into his ear, too private. "Wouldst thou like to hear his wishes, Ele-"

Alphinaud near held his breath as Nidhogg broke off. For an eternal moment, the two of them stood as such, Alphinaud keenly aware of the body holding him ever so tightly and a rising hope within.

Then nothing was touching him, not even solid ground, as he was shoved forward off the roof and fell, fell, fell-

  


* * *

  


"-going to have to pay for it!"

The strident voice jolted Alphinaud into waking, though for some reason he could not fully awaken. When he opened his eyes, pain stabbed through his skull at the bright light. Was there an attack? Was that why the light around him was overpowering?

"Do not move." A gentle hand touched his shoulder, keeping him still.

"Honestly, Alphinaud, how do you get yourself in these messes?"

Urianger. And… Krile?

"Be careful in removing the shards."

"Aye."

He felt something against his skin, something being pulled _out_ , the resulting pain nearly a pinprick next to the overwhelming pain roiling through his skull.

"Pray view his throat."

"Aye, I see it. Likely Nidhogg's touch, much as the blood on his ear."

Alphinaud opened his mouth, his swimming brain wishing for answers, only for a croak to escape.

"Do not speak, Alphinaud. Have you removed all the shards?"

"Aye."

Warmth rushed through him, leaving behind a dull ache and a clearer head. Slowly, he opened his eyes, finally seeing Urianger and Krile clearly. "What happened?" he murmured, his voice still not quite wishing to work how he wanted it.

Krile's face set into stony lines. "That, I was hoping you would tell us. Urianger, pray assist Alphinaud. I will speak with the merchant regarding his shop and wares."

For a moment, Alphinaud didn't understand. But once Urianger started assisting him to his feet, pottery crushing as he stood and bits of ripped cloth falling off his shoulders, things started to become a bit more clear. He had fallen- no, pushed, so he would go from those burning hands to land on-

"Nidhogg," he whispered. "Nidhogg was here."

  


* * *

  


Though it took some begging, Urianger and Krile both agreed not to speak of Nidhogg's attack to the Warrior of Light. She was already running after so many things already, and to burden her with such a thing at the moment would only worry her. And though Krile had told them of her hypothesis - breaking the spell of Nidhogg's rage so Estinien may be free - none had an idea how to put it into practice.

With that thought, Alphinaud entered Falcon's Nest. Vidofnir would soon arrive. And he certainly did wish to see her meeting with Ser Aymeric, Dravania and Ishgard finally setting peace and ceasing a war the great wyrm Nidhogg had started so long ago.

The Warrior of Light turned as he drew near to her, her dark lips curled in a bright smile. "I was hoping I would see you here, my friend," she said warmly. "You arrived before Vidofnir did." The warmth slowly drained from her face as she took in Alphinaud. "What happened? You look-"

Silently, Alphinaud cursed her thoughtfulness and caring. He didn't wish to burden more than he had to with what had happened, and she proceeded to see right through it. "We shall speak of it later," he assured her. "For now, let us watch history be written."

Doubt crossed her face, but her words were interrupted as the sound of Vidofnir's wings filled the air. Both of them turned their gaze upward to watch her, an almost long forgotten sense of hope arising within Alphinaud. A sense of hope he had thought had died when the Crystal Braves had betrayed him, and the lot of them were scattered. Hope that perhaps, this time, everything would turn out right.

The Warrior of Light had a large smile on her face as Ser Aymeric spoke, offering peace to Vidofnir. Perhaps she felt the same hope he did. The hope that they had finally made a difference.

The healed burn on his throat suddenly burst into pain, just as Vidofnir roared.

And fell still, as familiar figure clad in crimson bathed armour pulled his spear from her hide.


	5. Chapter 5

For that Nidhogg did not deign to seek out Alphinaud before leaving Falcon's Nest, it left him with little comfort. He felt the great wymn had to have known he was there, given how his throat burned even now. The fact he left Alphinaud alone, ignoring yet another chance to harm Estinien's soul, did not bode well. He closed his eyes as the Warrior of Light drew near to him, steadying his thoughts and preparing his words. Gentle healing aether knotted at his throat - proof the Warrior of Light had indeed studied more than offensive spell craft - easing the pain left behind.

"We are all messages," he whispered, opening his eyes. "Vidofnir, Estinien… myself. We are all messages of his rage. Nidhogg uses all of us to spread his hate, his vengeance." He looked up at her, and for a moment, the unending sympathy in her face was unbearable, forcing him to look away.

"Alphinaud…"

"I must regain my thoughts," he said, almost to himself. "I must…" Finally, he fought the strength to look back up into her gentle face. "I must save him." Before she could do aught more than open her lips, he shook his head. "Please, my friend…" Alphinaud took a deep breath. "Meet me in the intercessory in Camp Dragonhead. With all that has happened, it may be the best place to speak that will not be interrupted or overheard. Please."

Whatever she had originally thought to say failed to cross her lips, and the Warrior of Light only nodded. Then, her slender hand touched at his collar, clawed fingers pulling the fabric aside to check on the burn at his throat. "This looks better now," she told him quietly. "If it still aches, I can cast another Benefic-"

Alphinaud shook his head. "As of now, I will be fine. To Camp Dragonhead."

She nodded.

The travel to Camp Dragonhead was… somber. Quiet. Nothing dared attack them, almost as if the monsters traversing Coerthas could sense their strength. Almost as if the monsters they passed sensed their will. Alphinaud shifted his jacket as a particularly cold wind cut through him, looking over at the Warrior of Light. Per usual, she was half clad, her legs bare to the world. He knew her body temperature was much higher than his, but-

"I dislike cold weather as well." Alphinaud jumped slightly as she spoke, her gentle voice breaking the thick silence. "I always looked forward to being inside, near a fireplace, while here in Ishgard."

"Then why do you not wear more?" he inquired, his voice still hushed, as if to bring back the comfort of the silence.

A wry smile crossed her face. "Haurchefant once complimented me on my legs. Do not look so surprised, Alphinaud. I may be the Warrior of Light, but I am also a woman." One hand went to her chest, curled slightly, as she closed her eyes for a brief moment. "I love, and yes, even yearn even for touch as a woman does. And yet, I am allowed neither."

"That's untrue," Alphinaud started to argue. "Haurchefant-"

"And Moenbryda both would have been more than happy to fill that role, aye," she agreed. "Or at least Haurchefant. I feel Monebryda may have still only had eyes for Urianger. But considering our roles…" She shook her head as they entered Camp Dragonhead. "It's not something you would understand."

Alphinaud didn't know how to respond to that. Aye, he hadn't had the same breadth of feeling for another that she had, but-

"And it's something I hope you never have to worry about," she murmured. "Estinien may have his name marred by these events, but even as a Leveilleur, you're afforded a measure of obscurity I am not."

"Estinien?" Why would she bring him into this discussion?

Her head came up, turning to him with surprise writ plain on her face. "Alph-"

A cold wind broke her words, and he could see her flinch slightly as it froze them. "Continue to the intercessory," he told her. "I shall be there in a moment."

"The wind chills us both, Alphinaud. You should-"

"Please. I will be there shortly."

She opened her mouth again, then closed it, studying him. Finally, she nodded, and left him alone with the cold and the echo of her words. To keep himself from dwelling too much on both, he sought out the cook, intent on finding something to warm the both of them. Mulled wine would perhaps be the easiest to find, and yet it took him far longer than he cared to find two mugs. But soon he arrived in the intercessory, holding the steaming mugs. "Forgive me," he started before she shook her head, sitting at the table.

"No need for apologies." Her eyes caught on the mugs, clear distrust resting in that clear gaze.

"I may vouch for the safety," he assured her. "And I felt something warming might not go amiss." He passed her one mug, watching her stare at it for a moment before taking a sip. His own gaze turned down to the mug in his hands, as if he could see truth in the bottom. "Why did you speak of Estinien?" he asked quietly.

She sat silent for a moment, staring at her own mug. "Is it not clear to you?" she finally asked.

"If it were, I would not be asking."

"Quite true," she murmured before looking up at him, yellow eyes intense. "You spoke of wishing to save Estinien?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I want to fight for him. Others may do what they believe is the only path, however- I cannot forsake him. I must try. Even if I may fail, I cannot just sit aside and let him be tormented by the beast. I cannot just let others kill him, even if Nidhogg twists Estinien's… for…"

His own words rang in his ears as he spoke, and trailed off as their meaning reached him. " _Oh._ "

"We will find a way to save him," the Warrior of Light said, her vow ringing between them.

"How long have I been blind?" he whispered, looking at his mug. "Will I ever see the simple facts in front of me? Am I forever doomed to miss what lies right before my eyes?" He heard her stand, only looking up at her when she stopped by his side. "I apologize," he finally said. "And thank you for listening to me. You allow me to unburden myself time and time again. Thank the Twelve for a friend such as you."

"You parrot my own words back to me," she told him with a small laugh.

"Only for their truth." The mug was warm in his hands, inviting, and he took another sip of the wine within. "I refuse to allow Nidhogg to twist Estinien's heart further," he vowed. "I will free him of the wyrm."

Surprise ran through him as the Warrior of Light touched his shoulder. "I only ask you be stronger than I," she told him quietly, "when we save Estinien."

Her words hit deep within him, and he looked away. "It may not be a strength I have," he admitted. "But aye. I shall try."


	6. Chapter 6

Though the realization of the heat he felt while speaking with Estinien had been his feelings being more romantic than anger, it didn't quell the whirlwind in his mind as he gathered up the Warrior of Light's mug while she rested, her head laid against her pillowed arms on the table, noticing she had barely even taken that single sip. Krile had told him there was a possibility Estinien could be saved, and Alphinaud was ready to do anything to make that truth. Plan after plan raced through his mind, discarded just as quickly. Too many of them relied on chance that the Warrior of Light would come out alive. A few returned to mind, hinging too much on outside help. Perhaps… Ser Aymeric or Lucia would have an idea. Would Ishgard be able to subdue Nidhogg long enough to save Estinien?

Alphinaud's hand paused before opening the door as a burning started at his throat. Hadn't the Warrior of Light healed that? Or had the burns gone so deep… or- Alphinaud turned slightly, watching the sleeping Warrior of Light. For once, she looked at peace. The haunted look had smoothed into relaxation, and the burdens of the world had been discarded for a few moments of sleep. He couldn't wake her.

The burning continued as he returned the mugs, and he twisted his head up to watch a dark figure stand silent, almost unnoticed by the crowd below. Alphinaud looked at the intercessory door, then back up at the figure. As he watched, the figure leapt into the air, landing outside of Camp Dragonhead.

Without another word, he followed. His codex came to hand as he left, poised to summon his carbuncle. If the figure was who he was certain it could only be, a battle was almost certain to ensue. His gaze cast about as he walked, intent not to be taken by surprise again. Something moved just inside his vision, and he turned, summoning his carbuncle as he did.

Nothing.

"Thy vigilance is to be commended," came a voice above him. Before Alphinaud could move, Nidhogg jumped down from the nearby tree, bloodstained boots displacing the snow under them.

"Nidhogg. What do you want?"

"The weapon may be sheathed, heart of my vessel. Hydaelyn's Chosen is far too close to attempt thy demise."

Alphinaud narrowed his eyes slightly. "And why should I believe that?"

Instead of answering, Nidhogg only let out a low chuckle, the distortion almost completely absent. Alphinaud felt his chest clench at the almost pure sound of Estinien's voice. The Azure Dragoon felt so close to the surface. He took in a breath, ready to call to Estinien. To pull him free of Nidhogg's grasp.

Then choked as Nidhogg rushed forward and seized his throat. "Smart boy," he whispered, his scorching body nearly flush with Alphinaud's own. "'Tis true Hydaelyn's Chosen's presence keeps me from razing this little knot of pests to the ground. But 'tis not enough to resist hearing my vessel scream at thy pain."

He could feel the blazing hot breath against his face, and horribly, even that brought curls of heat through his veins. Flames of what could only be lust blazed through him at the mere fact Estinien's body was so close to his own, and if he looked up, he could see a handsome face hiding behind that ever present helmet. Only the twisted smile and rage filled eyes kept him from showing how Estinien's body affected him.

"You do well to mask thy feelings," Nidhogg murmured. "Would I time to feel them twist into pain as I tasted thy flesh, thy blood."

Alphinaud managed a strangled noise, an attempt at questioning his words.

"Oh yes. I would bite deep, tear thy skin from thy bones. Feel thy blood rush into my mouth and drink deep as my vessel screamed." Nidhogg's other hand came up, nearly gentle as the bloodied armour stroked Alphinaud's cheek. "Would I time to truly break my vessel with thy pain."

"Estinien," Alphinaud said, the words squeezing out of his throat. "Please-"

Then choked as Nidhogg tightened his grasp, too tight to breathe. "Thy words saved thy life before," he hissed. "Not this time."

Alphinaud clawed at the hand at his throat, his vision already growing spotty. He attempted to direct his carbuncle, to no avail. Even if the carbuncle was following his orders, he couldn't tell. The thought he wouldn't survive this encounter filled him, the knowledge this time, _this time_ he had found his end. Nidhogg's hatred battered around him-

Then the hand let him go, dropping him into the snow. And Alphinaud realized the waves of hatred came from behind him, not from the figure before him.

"I should kill you right here where you stand," came the furious voice of the Warrior of Light. "And if I must to keep you from taking my friend, I will do so."

Alphinaud turned slightly, coughing, his eyes widening at the armour clad figure, colour of the steel black as deepest night, holding a broadsword larger than herself. When had she learned to wield a sword?

Nidhogg chuckled, the sound now distorted. "And slay the Elezen's heart?"

"I promised to save Estinien," she spat out, easily lifting the immense sword to point it at him. "But not at the price of losing yet another beloved friend. And I certainly will never lose anyone to your bloody hands!"

The roar of her voice, nearly equal to a true dragon's in the breadth of rage, rang in the silence that followed. After a moment, a strangled voice spoke. "Then kill me," Estinien whispered. "And end this cycle of hatred."

Alphinaud turned, words coming to his lips yet not able to speak. Even if his throat hadn't been physically injured as such, the emotion bubbling to his lips would have stopped all words. Estinien was so close- he could almost feel him as he reached out-

Only for Nidhogg's heat to explode around them, melting the snow in a yalm around them. Alphinaud could only watch Nidhogg leap away, rage in every movement. Once he could no longer see the bloodstained armour, Alphinaud looked down at the grass below him, already being covered by the falling snow.

He heard the Warrior of Light sheath her sword, then walk towards him, her armour clinking with each step. Her gentle hands took his shoulders, then pulled him carefully to her chest in a hug. "I cannot bear to lose another," she whispered into his hair. "I have buried too many of my comrades to lose another."

Her voice held more grief than Haurchefant and Moenbryda. He could hear the pain she felt as she entered the Waking Sands and saw the bodies of the fellow Scions littered about. The grief of believing Sultana Nanamo ul Namo had been murdered before her, and the rest of the Scions had given their lives so she may live. The hurt she felt knowing Y'shtola and Thancred had lost a vital part of themselves. Minfilia. Ysayle. And the uncertainty about Yda and Papalymo's fates.

How had this been the first time he had seen her determined facade truly crack?

"I will save Estinien," she promised. "I will not lose another. I will not let you lose another. But I will not lose another friend. Never again."

"We should-" Speaking hurt. "We should return to warmth."

"Aye." She released him, and helped him stand. "And I should take a look at your throat."

Instead of speaking, Alphinaud nodded slightly.

Estinien's soul hadn't been consumed. They would save him.


	7. Chapter 7

"Dravania is much larger than I expected."

Alphinaud turned his attention to the speaker, surprised at the slight awe he heard in Ser Aymeric's voice. The Lord Commander sat across the fire from him, eyes closed in thought. "I admit, I felt quite the same when I first travelled through these lands."

"It's quite impressive." Ser Aymeric slowly opened his eyes, taking in the fire in the dying daylight. "These lands are more beautiful than Lucia's report. I hope some day to return to Dravania after this is resolved under far more peaceful pretences." Ser Aymeric's gaze hardened slightly, as if that would hide the pain that crossed his face.

"We will save Estinien," he reminded Ser Aymeric. "You heard as I did from Krile and Y'shtola. And I saw with my own eyes that Estinien has yet to be completely consumed."

"Aye, and of that I have no doubt." A sigh escaped Ser Aymeric's lips and he turned his gaze to the darkening sky. "Watching what had happened to my dearest friend and loosening an arrow at what stood before me in his skin was one of the most difficult things I dared even think about. I am aware Estinien still remains inside that monster, however, that does not change what I saw and my own actions."

The intense undertone of pain made Alphinaud turn back to the fire. "You care deeply for Estinien," he murmured, attempting to quell the jealousy rising within him.

When he turned his gaze back to Ser Aymeric, the elder Elezen had closed his eyes again in thought. "Aye," he finally said, his eyes opening, turned down to the ground before looking up at Alphinaud. "Watching my dearest friend held hostage in his own body hurts more than I could have ever imagined."

Alphinaud looked away, taking the time to study around them for any hostile denizens. "I see."

"How I feel for Estinien is not romantic, Alphinaud. Many have mistaken our relationship as such, and aye, we did attempt a relationship as such. But we soon learned our deep feelings ran platonic, not romantic. There is no need for jealousy."

His cheeks burned at Ser Aymeric's words. "Am I that obvious?"

When he finally looked back at Ser Aymeric, a smirk had settled on his lips. "It's something I would expect." The smirk faded slowly. "Aye, I expect it well."

"It seems everyone else was aware of my feelings for Estinien before I," Alphinaud said, almost to himself.

"It's perhaps easier to see other's feelings before your own." Ser Aymeric shook his head. "We will be arriving at Anyx Trine soon, correct?"

Alphinaud nodded.

"Then perhaps we should get some rest. While the Warrior of Light could not accompany us, we should still arrive to stand with her rested and aware."

"Aye."

"I do request one thing, Alphinaud." The stern, serious tone from Ser Aymeric made a jolt of worry spike in Alphinaud. "If what I hear is true regarding how Nidhogg now possesses Estinien, then do not fall to the same trap. 'Tis too easy to allow evil in your heart."

"Do you speak of Estinien's possession, or of another?"

Alphinaud did not even need to speak the Archbishop's name for Ser Aymeric to understand. "Perhaps both. But I cannot allow another fall to this evil. Pray be wary, Alphinaud."

"I shall."

Then hissed as his throat started that now hateful burn. "'Tis the burn Nidhogg inflicted," he explained. "At times, the pain will return."

"Have you a healer look at it?"

"The Warrior of Light examined it, using her own magic to heal it." He should not be bothered by it now. Unless, like last time it burned, Nidhogg…

"Then it should not be-" Ser Aymeric stood suddenly, drawing his sword. "There is a presence."

Nidhogg. It could only be Nidhogg. Alphinaud summoned his carbuncle as he stood, codex in hand as his heart sounded wild in his ears. "I see nothing," he told his companion after a moment, feeling slightly silly he had worried about the great wyrm attacking him again from simple pain. "What do you see?"

"A shape. But it only stands in place- ah." Ser Aymeric's eyes narrowed. "It fled."

"Perhaps a spooked animal?" Alphinaud offered, still not closing his codex. If it had been Nidhogg, the temptation of hurting Estinien through Alphinaud would have been too great, as it had in the past. However, as his throat still burned, he could not sheath his weapon.

He felt less paranoid as his companion still held his weapon unsheathed. "Pray answer this question: when does this burn bother you?"

Suddenly ashamed he hadn't spoken the words earlier, he found his tongue unable to speak the words. Finally, he said, "twice the pain returned, and both times Nidhogg had been near."

"Does the burn still ache, despite what I saw fleeing?"

"Aye."

The word hung in the air, dread filling the empty spaces around the sound. "We should continue to Anyx Trine immediately," Ser Aymric told him. "Put out the fire. I will stand guard."

Alphinaud hadn't broken down camp with such speed before, and yet in record time, they were ready to travel onward. While Alphinaud would be the first to admit he could not see as well in the dark, perhaps a side effect from studying far more often than he should by candlelight, Ser Aymeric's low light vision seemed to be much keener. He had no qualms with Ser Aymeric keeping watch as they quickly made their way through the lands of Dravania.

None at all, as his throat still burned.

  


* * *

  


It was unsettling, when the Warrior of Light prepared for the battle against Nidhogg before mounting on Hraesvelgr's back, that she traded her usual garb and tome for armour of the blackest night and the sword Alphinaud had seen her wield before. The look on Ser Aymeric's face told the same emotion, but then he nodded. Alphinaud could not hear what he told her before she turned to Hraesvelgr, but he could see her expression.

"Aye," she said, her voice carrying. "I speak a warning to Nidhogg dressed as such. I will not allow him to harm my friends."

The look on Ser Aymeric's face made Alphinaud look away. Not just for the worried love he saw there, but the lack of reciprocation from the Warrior of Light as she climbed onto Hraesvelgr's back. She cared for him as she cared for Alphinaud; he could see the same look on her face that she gave him. Gentle, caring… but naught more.

But even if she had felt the same, they had no time to speak the words. Each moment lost was a moment more of Nidhogg's assault. They needed to leave.

They would be by her side. He needed to save Estinien. If Krile and Y'shtola were correct, he needed to remove those damnable eyes himself.

And as they flew away, something settled into the pit of his stomach, a dread matched only by the growing burning at his throat.

  


* * *

  


"You came… heart of my vessel."


	8. Chapter 8

Breathtaking. Breathtaking, and not a little horrifying. Those were the words Alphinaud would describe the Warrior of Light battling Nidhogg. Even with codex in hand, he knew he would make little difference in the fight. She moved fluidly between the great wyrm's attacks, claws glancing off her dark armour. If Nidhogg landed a blow, it did naught else but make her pause. She wielded the sword with grace that the only way she would look more natural in battle was with grimoire in hand.

And that frightened Alphinaud. He knew she had promised to save Estinien. If she had grimoire in hand, directing her ruby carbuncle, he felt she would remember this promise. But with the aura around her as black as her armour, he wondered if she would even realize Estinien still remained, buried deep within Nidhogg.

Alphinaud raised his fingers to his throat, feeling the fiery burn crawl across his skin. It pulsed with each hit the Warrior of Light landed, pain screaming across his senses as Nidhogg raged. And yet, each pulse slowly grew weaker and weaker, causing his breath to catch in hope.

Then Nidhogg's great body fell, and Alphinaud couldn't breathe. Equal parts pain and hope stopped his breath, and, aye, fear mixed in as well. Fear that it had gone too far, and Nidhogg's death would take Estinien with him. Slowly, Nidhogg's form melted into the Elezen form of Estinien, still wreathed in rage and hatred. The helmet lifted, the hidden gaze pointed straight at Alphinaud. Before any of them could move, Nidhogg leapt, pinning Alphinaud to the ground with one hand and the bloodied lance hovering over his face. "One more step, children of man, and thy Elezen's life is forfeit!"

Despite knowing it would all come to naught, Alphinaud's fingers pulled at the gauntlet holding him down. Fear raced through his veins, knowing anything the Warrior of Light could do would come too late. And the others had already proven ineffective against the great wyrm. The Warrior of Light herself only pulled Nidhogg back to Estinien's form by the power Hraesvelgr's eye gave her. Alphinaud tried to speak, to hope he could pull Estinien forth, only for a pained noise to be the only sound he made.

The lance above him shook.

Alphinaud closed his eyes, holding his breath. If Nidhogg had one onze of kindness in him, he would make it quick.

Yet instead, when he should have felt pain from the lance piercing him, he both heard and felt the weapon drop next to him. Slowly, he opened his eyes, taking in Estinien's pained gaze tracked on his face. "Pray grant this last favour," Estinien said, his voice carrying in the sudden quiet. "Finish me while Nidhogg is subdued."

The grip on his throat loosened enough for Alphinaud to speak. "I cannot watch you die," he managed.

Hatred and rage boiled against his skin, and Nidhogg's aura wreathed the air once more. Then, black gauntlets reached out, seizing the eye on his shoulder and started to pull. Alphinaud grit his teeth and reached up, his hands gripping the one on the arm formerly holding the lance. Despite both of them pulling with all their strength, the eyes were too deeply embedded. And even worse, with his hands directly on Nidhogg's rage, Alphinaud could scarce breathe through the pain. His fingers started to slip, the herald of the end.

Then the eye started to slip free from the armour. He looked up, and nearly froze at the sight of Ysayle gripping the eye as well. Her incorporeal hands couldn't touch it, but her strength, her resolve for a peaceful world flowed into him. The Warrior of Light made a noise, a more pained gasp than any blow had wrung from her, and Alphinaud turned his gaze to see Haurchefant lending her the last of his strength as well. With both their wills, the eyes of Nidhogg were ripped free.

For a moment, all Alphinaud could do was try to slow his breathing as Estinien slumped to one side, falling next to him. Nidhogg's eye felt cold in his hand, the rage still pulsing the same beat as the burn.

It was only when the Warrior of Light growled, the noise so very unlike her, that he opened his eyes. "No…" he whispered, watching her aura start to entwine with Nidhogg's.

"Cast the eyes into the abyss!"

Ser Aymeric's voice surged inside him, and before he could think, Alphinaud rose only to tackle the Warrior of Light. He had no intent on battling with the woman who felled more beasts than he could ever hope to see, and bested primals on top of that. Instead, he only wished to knock the eye free of her grasp. When it rolled out of her hands, Alphinaud threw it as hard as he could towards the edge of the bridge, his own following. Both of them bounced slightly as they went, one rolling neatly over. The other paused for a breathless moment, teetering.

When it fell, the breath Alphinaud took almost hurt with how fast and deep he inhaled. Slowly, he let himself rest against the ground next to the Warrior of Light, and tried to ignore the pained breaths coming from the slender Au Ra.

"Why?" Her voice trembled on the word. "Haurchefant… Why?"

And at a time for his gift of words to shine, his tongue failed him.

  


* * *

  


With their wounds nowhere near mortal, Alphinaud and the Warrior of Light were chased from the infirmary so the healers could focus on those nearer to death's door. He spared a glance at his companion, and at the haunted look on her face.

"It was Haurchefant," she whispered. "I could feel his strength, his love as I pulled. While I had known him I had thought his words play and I had hoped I could change that play to truth, but to learn it had been truth all this time-!" Her voice broke.

"You couldn't have-"

"Alphinaud, I will appreciate the sentiment behind what you are about to say, but if you say it, I will rip your tongue out."

Slowly, Alphinaud closed his mouth.

Then pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. "I could not bear to lose you," he whispered. "I have buried too many friends."

The sob heaved through her body hard enough it nearly broke his grasp, one hand to her mouth as if she could hold her tears inside. She turned, falling to her knees as she pressed her face to his shoulder. He could feel the points of her horns dig into him, but that small pain didn't matter as he held his sobbing friend, tears prickling at his lashes as well.

After a moment, he heard the slight clink of armour. He lifted his gaze only to see Ser Aymeric watching the Warrior of Light, pain writ in his own features at her grief. Alphinaud looked at the crying Au Ra in his arms, then back at him, nodding slightly. With the encouragement, Ser Aymeric knelt next to them, gently leading the Warrior of Light into his own arms, no romance in the gesture, only a need to comfort her settling into his face.

"Go," he told Alphinaud softly. "If the healers try to force you to leave, only tell them to speak with me."

He needed no other encouragement. His feet took him to Estinien's room, to his bedside. The healers had already done what they could. There wasn't much else anyone could do for him, except wait.

So Alphinaud waited, his hand reaching out to cradle Estinien's limp fingers.


	9. Chapter 9

Twas strange, feeling a slight burn at his throat while Estinien lay unresponsive. At least the touch of Nidhogg's remaining aether let Alphinaud know the dragoon still lived. His thumb gently ran over Estinien's knuckles, hoping the touch would bring him back. But Estinien only breathed, his body alive but unaware. He rested his head on the bed, closing his eyes, letting the burn comfort him for once.

Perhaps Estinien would never wake. Nidhogg had seeped into every part of his soul, nearly smothering him. Though Estinien still lived, he may never wake. The thought made his hand clench, tighten on Estinien's limp fingers. He had tried so hard to save the dragoon, not to end his life to stop Nidhogg, and it very well could have been for naught. Alphinaud took a deep breath, trying to dislodge the thought that wound itself deep inside his mind. Slowly, he lifted his head again, focusing on Estinien's slack face.

"Please," he whispered. "I only recently realized what had been between us. Please, Estinien, do not let this realization be in vain. Please…

The burn on his throat flared for a moment, causing Alphinaud's breath to catch. Did that mean Estinien had finally awaken?

Instead, he heard the soft rustling of someone sitting next to him. "Has he woken up?" the Warrior of Light asked quietly, her hands resting in her lap.

He shook his head. "He still sleeps," Alphinaud told her, voice equally quiet. "How are you?"

What she meant… "I can yet feel Nidhogg's aether," he admitted. "I would have thought I would not feel Nidhogg any longer."

The Warrior of Light only sat there for a moment. "Perhaps Nidhogg's aether has a lasting effect," she said, her voice nearly inaudible. Slowly, she took a deep breath and released it. When Alphinaud turned his gaze to her, he noticed the pallor of her skin and deep shadows under her eyes. Gently, he reached out, tugging her head to his shoulder. "Alphinaud?"

"My friend, you need to rest too," he told her. The burn on his throat grew in intensity as her head settled on his shoulder. "It will work out. I promise you."

She muttered something about a 'Fray,' but it was lost as she started to slump, well needed sleep dragging her into its embrace. Alphinaud sat there, awkward as he tried to keep her from sliding to the floor while still keeping Estinien's hand in his own. His heart ached, both for his beloved friend battling an unseen darkness, and his heart's desire, still sleeping without an end in sight.

However, though she needed the rest, eventually, the Warrior of Light had to leave. Not only would she be needed elsewhere, she would not allow herself rest. Instead, she remained busy, helping where she could. When Ser Aymeric visited, all Alphinaud could tell him was his beloved friend had yet to stir. The deep worry settled in Ser Aymeric's face echoed inside of Alphinaud, something neither of them could touch and soothe.

So passed the hours. Alphinaud lifted Estinien's hand to his cheek, closing his eyes. Mayhap he will sleep forever. He would have to leave Estinien at some point, continue on his journey with the Warrior of Light. He-

A change in Estinien's breathing caught his attention. Alphinaud held Estinien's hand to his throat, feeling the human heat pulse against the aetheric burn. "Estinien?"

Slowly, too slowly, Estinien's eyes opening just enough to show the colour underneath.

Emotion seized Alphinaud, tears springing to his eyes. He gripped Estinien's hand even tighter, relief stabbing through him, hitching his breath in a sob. "Estinien," he whispered, another sob piercing him as tears escaped his eyes. "Oh, Estinien…"

The dragoon didn't answer him, but his eyes opened again, focusing this time on Alphinaud. "Cease your mewling," he said, his voice colourless with exhaustion. "It does not become you."

Indignation and relief mingled into a choked laugh. Alphinaud surged forward, his arms catching Estinien in an embrace he did not ever wish to loosen. Never again.

By the way Estinien tried to return the embrace, despite his condition, despite the others arriving, he knew the dragoon felt the same.

  


* * *

  


He knew it. Though the sight of an empty hospital room spiked Alphinaud's worry, he knew it. Estinien would not remain idle for long. He had hoped the dragoon would have taken the time to say goodbye, but that wasn't him, was it? Estinien was never one for long goodbyes. And yet, Alphinaud would not let him leave without a single word. Not… not after he knew which way his deep feelings for Estinien ran.

Nidhogg's aetheric touch had been waning quickly, to the point his throat no longer burned in the presence of the Warrior of Light, but both Estinien and Alphinaud had been bathed in the aether longer than she had. It had taken a bit to find, but Alphinaud finally had touched a faint burn scar along his throat, a reminder of Nidhogg's twisted desire to harm Estinien. Despite the fading aether, he could still follow how the burn ebbed and flowed, finding himself behind a bare headed Estinien watching Ser Aymeric's speech.

"Come to say goodbye?" Estinien asked, not yet turning to him. "Or perhaps beg me to stay?"

"If your mind is set to leave, I will not change it," he told Estinien. "But I could not allow you to leave without… without saying what I should have long before." Alphinaud took a deep breath, steeling himself against the words. "I care for you. Deeply. Perhaps the word used can be 'love.' And I wished to let you know that I-" The words were harder to say than he expected. "I love you."

"Aye. As do I." Estinien's back remained to him as Alphinaud's breath caught at the words. "Perhaps that's why I must leave. For everything I am, everything I've done, everything as it is now, I have no purpose with Nidhogg dead and a tentative peace with Dravania. I have no purpose in Ishgard. However…" Estinien lifted his head, looking at the sky. "The horizon is endless, as are potentials." Finally he turned, a smirk on his handsome lips. "It's fair possible our paths may meet again, Alphinaud. But as it rests now…" The smirk dropped. "I do not believe…"

"You are not the only one who has found himself at crossroads, and found himself lacking," Alphinaud told him, the words muted from his own memories. "But even I found another purpose, another life… and the first to whom my heart truly belonged." He took a deep breath. "When you find your purpose again, Estinien, I will still love you."

When Estinien stepped close, Alphinaud only tilted his head upward to meet Estinien's kiss, touch, and heart.

And if Estinien left Ishgard from the Forgotten Knight instead of directly from Ser Aymeric's speech… only Alphinaud needed to know the pleasure reaped from his body, passion long held between them finally sparking into a wonderful blaze build between them before their parting.

But before Estinien left, his hands settled the sheet around Alphinaud's weary body before promising:

"One day, I will return to you, worthy of this love you just showed me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shadowbringers is really, really good, y'all.
> 
> So while this is the end of Handmade Heaven, there is a possibility short stories might be coming after this. I can't promise or even allude to a sequel, but how this went is something I would like to return to in some way. Thank you, everyone, who read, left kudos, commented... everyone. You all are amazing.


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